The Jehovah’s Witnesses are a cult and I have a little story to tell you about disfellowshipping. It’s sort of a shunning but worse: Well I was at the end of the 15 yrs of my life with them, and I stepped out of line.
So many times I could have had a better life without Frank, but he hung on to me for dear life. We had been married 18 years, and only 2 of those years were happy. He found drugs and that was the woman he cheated on me with. Drugs came first, and believe me he took quite a bit. At one time, he would open his hand and I would see it full of Xanax 1 mg’s ; Tylenol 3’s and pills I couldn’t identify, and throw it down his throat with a swig of soda. He would then go off to work driving doubles at night for UPS, never had an accident. Go figure.
Frank was a monster. He hated the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and wouldn’t let me out to go to the meetings, and if I did not go, I would get into a hassle with the Elders. He was also a pathological liar.
I had an excellent job running two companies. I loved my job, the owner was a cranky old man in which I found endearing. He had three sons, and for a few years I never met the middle one. So one day we had to get together to buy a truck, so he came up from Maryland and it was love at first sight. Really. So I became entangled with him which led to one day, one time, of sex and that was all. I felt ashamed and went straight to the Elders and told them what I did, and they disfellowshipped me on the spot! That is was not customary at all! I was totally shocked. There were three of them and one of me. They usually meet with you again preferably with your husband before they disfellowship you, but in this case they apparently knew more than I did. Boy was I right, another shock.
If the Overseers pronounced me disfellowshipped, I would end up at the headquarters of the Watch Tower and Bible Society. However it did not come to that.
Now I was in for a bigger shock, how many times do I need to be shocked before I get electrocuted! All this time, without me knowing it. Under the guise of a Bible Study between my husband and another Elder, he was filling his head full of lies. Even though he had fabricated something really horrible about me, I did not know the particulars. To this day, I still don’t know, but my son knew, because his father boasted to him about what he was telling the Elders. My son refused to tell me what it was, he couldn’t because he knew it would hurt both of us.
I remember being apprehensive because Frank cried all the time, he saw his plan go down the drain. When I told him I was getting a divorce no matter what the outcome , he got angry and said, “Those f**kin Elders they were suppose to just punish you and set you straight.” I went numb. How dare he! Now, more than ever I wanted away from all the controlling aspects of my life. But I still had to prove a point and get those Elders in BIG trouble. Jehovah was with me, I could feel it because I had no idea what I was going to say to defend myself. So I was a little apprehensive because it was me against six men And boy did I see God at work..
When it was time to met with the six Elders, the original three, and the three Overseers, Frank balked and I said. “Oh, no you are coming with me..!
This is how it went: We had prayer first and then one of the Overseer’s talked directly to the group of original Elders, by the way 5 of those Elders knew me the whole time I was a JW. He asked them why did they make a hasty judgement, the brother sitting in front of the trio said “She didn’t cry.” At that point the original three tensed up, this was not going to be a cake walk. Then, one of the Overseers turned to me and asked what I wanted, and I replied, “To put my marriage in order and I need their help” No, I didn’t, but I was so into taking my refenge against them, I told them what they wanted to hear.
Then the chaos began, everyone was speaking at the same time. To make it worse Frank started crying with his head down, what an actor. I started watching, taking note of what was truth and what was lies. Then one of the Overseers who knew me well asked why I was upset. Now this was my time to shine in this kangaroo court. I replied, “When I was originally telling the three Elders , pouring out my heart, one of the Elders was sleeping, and actually snoring.” What a riot. The Overseers at that point asked the Elders if this was true they emphatically said “NO”.
The Elders knew me well, but apparently not that well, because I jumped up in front of the six and said without hesitation, “Jehovah is watching!” Then the Overseer took my cue and asked again, but instead of a verbal answer, the other two just shook their heads “yes.” Then the questions of my faith came in to play. They asked the one Elder if I was fully involved at the Tuesday night book study, he said, “yes.” the next question was how many hours I put in the ministry, before I had a chance to answer, the Overseer that did not know me asked if I worked and had children and did I bring them to the meetings? I said “yes.” He turned to the others and said, “I think we need to discuss this and come back at another time, perhaps next week.” Then he said Frank and I could leave, but the Elders better stay and he was top dog too.
Okay where did they put the Kangaroo? They finally came to a decision. I could stay if I was a good girl, I told them to “Shove it!” Left and never looked back . I put the house up for sale and had an apartment right next door to the police station.
Frank kept saying he was going to kill himself if I didn’t stay with him, Ha! after what he did to me. No way I was outta there baby! and took my kids with me.
We found him in the waterbed one March afternoon with a gun to his head, and yes he did use it. So now Frank was dead. I honestly felt no guilt.