My experience

The Cult:The Art of Disfellowshipping

Disfellowshipping is like none other, and satan definitely has his hand in it. The JW's are kept in by fear, and that is the first sign of a cult!

Did you know that the word disfellowship does not grace the pages of the Dictionary or Bible?

Jehovah’s Witnesses use this word, quite a bit. And it would not surprise me if they made it up. However, for this blog, I am going to jump right into the matter, so let me tell you how it works: If you miss a meeting, don’t pick up your magazines, or are not feeling up to participating at the meetings, the elders are all over you or send the older women to your door. You most likely will be brought in for questioning. And if a good friend sees you doing something untoward, they will get in big trouble or even get disfellowshipped themselves for not informing the elders immediately.

I had been a JW for about four years, so I wasn’t new to the congregation, everyone knew me, however, on one occasion I did not pick up my magazines; *The Watchtower* and the *Awake*. Okay that was one strike against me. I missed two Sundays in a row for lack of sleep. This was because my newborn had colic and kept me up all night. She acquired the colic from thrush. I tried but I could not get her to sleep and her father needed to sleep in order to go to work that night. Frank was not a patient, loving father. He would come downstairs and kick the playpen and yell at her to shut up, which of course only made her scream louder. I would take her in my arms and try to rock her to sleep, and finally, oh God bless, she fell asleep. Then I laid down on the couch and snoozed.

However, not this time. The doorbell rang and it wakes, both my husband and my daughter. I open the door and there are two sisters standing there, there were the same older sisters who checked on you, and not for your welfare. They were at least twenty years older than me, so I had to be respectful. When they told me they wanted to know why I missed the Sunday meeting, I slammed the door in their face. So much for respectful.

When I was disfellowshipped, the only way back was to be shunned inside the Kingdom Hall. This was their idea of humiliation. There was such a lack of love. Today, if you are a member of a Church or just go to one regularly, you can backslide into drugs, etc. and not show your face for a year, the parishioners would welcome you back with immediate hugs and happiness. I know that now, but to my defense, I had never stepped foot in a Church to find out until now.

This *shunning* took about a year, they wanted to see if you were serious, ha! I would leave and never look back!  Only the elders could speak to you. As a result, those who used to be your best friends would give you a wide berth. I watched throughout my fifteen years, and never liked or understood it. These lost sheep were *allowed* to sit in the very back, and they definitely had to attend all five meetings. Subsequently, you were not permitted to to speak to anyone.

Given that we were not allowed to talk to these humiliated JW’s, we did not know under what circumstances they were thrown out.I do know one thing, they were shown no love, as much as we wanted to reach to them. Because, as I said, the penalty was a disfellowshipping offense.

It is so insidious, only the devil could have come up with that one. Listen, you are disfellowshipped, and no one knows why. If anybody asked questions of the disfellowshiped one, they in turn, would be thrown out also.

But and this is a big *But*; the Bible teaches otherwise. You can find commands from Jesus to love one another.  Understanding the examples Jesus gave in parables; *The Lost Sheep* in Luke 15:1-7 The one that most describes satan’s  involvement is the* Prodigal Son* in Luke 15:11.

When I walked away from the *Kangaroo Court*, many friends who were disfellowshipped wanted to speak to me to share their story. One sister, who I had known for years called me and told me why she was disfellowshipped. Her Ministerial, (sort of like a Deacon), husband beat her all the time and the elders let it go, but she did not. She complained to the *Circuit Overseer* and his reply was because she was a black woman married to a white man. What?!?

Subsequently, when you are in the audience, usually on Sundays and it is announced *So & So is disfellowshipped*, at that very moment there is no speaking to that person and you speculate the worst. How would they know any different? Generally there is a talk on disfellowshipping and why we need to keep ourselves clean. However, this is sneaky and sinister in nature. This another sign of a cult.

Consequently, you did not want this to happen to you, so fear was keeping you in the cult, and that is the  first sign.










  1. Thanks for sharing. So many people tell me that Jehovah’s Witnesses are a kind group. I like to enlighten them on the truth behind the people who knock on your door proclaiming to have the Truth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There is more about the cult, if you wish to read them, they are in the same category. You can see them in my 10 other blogs, I also wrote a book exposing them on a very personal level. Thank you . Deb


    2. If you really want to know the truth as it happened to me, I wrote a book about it, called Heaven by Attrition. Check out “The Jewish Years” which is a blog, but also the beginning of my book. Reply if you have any questions. Thank you. Deb


    1. Emily, after I was Df, I found others out there and asked what their story was and now I know why they have the rules that u are not allowed to talk to a df person, bec most of the time it was politics. Sad


      1. Emily, we are doing that radio thing on six screens this SAT. 9PM. To listen, just call 1-712-432-8710 Pin: # 9925 hit *1 to participate or *1 to be muted. We should be talking about the article, bec it’s in my book. Sat. the 6th of may, 2017


    1. Cleo, I know it! It’s a healing and freedom that I have never known, being able to search the scriptures and being able to write blogs, and a book about it. There is all kinds of terrible things going on in the Cult. I am on the radio with Dick Borghi on six screens at approx. 9pm on every other Sat. I am on next Sat. If you have any questions, please call in and maybe I can help you some more. Which is my calling since I went thru a great deal. But why did u say that u didn’t know there was so much love….? Deb


  2. For years I struggled with mixed feelings about this. I was born into it and never new anything else. I was DF because I refused to live a lie. As some of you have said, only us that have been there know what it’s truly like. At the time I felt like I lost everything, my family, my friends and at the time the person I loved. It’s been more that 13 years and I can honestly say I’m in a good place now. One of the saddest things however is that I still don’t have any communication with my family except my middle brother. It would be nice to talk to someone about this that has been through it.
    Thank you for the article!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rudy, If it means anything, just last night I had to remove my son & his family, because they totally freaked out bec I asked a ? about a post put up there by my Grandson’s girlfriend. I asked if she was a Christian, she posted something re: her father being in heaven. I had no idea how deep rooted their hatred for God was, until I got a phone call from my daughter-in-law screaming and cursing at me like I was a child, but it wasn’t exactly directed at me, but Jehovah, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I was furious as I thought about the phone call, then I decided to turn them over as reprobates and I want nothing to do with them. I was disrespected for their beliefs, which they didn’t even warn me about. It was so bad, I was crying as the tirade went on. So I appreciate anyone that is happy with something I wrote. Thank you Rudy Vierra! PS I also wrote a book re: the Cult, called Heaven by Attrition. Take a look at my blog called “The Jewish Years”. It might make you smile. I hope so. Thanx again, Deb


    2. You can talk to me I was raised JW also and left at 18 df at 19 I completely understand. The anger and betrayal I felt when I realized it was all lies and a cult.


      1. Hi Jody Lynne, It’s funny, my name is Debbie Lynne. Anyway, When I wrote the article, as you can see, I hit home some experiences. The reason for it was to help others realize that they are not alone. I was a JW for 15 yrs. I hope Rudy gets back to you. There is a sequel to my Art of Disfellowshipping, called the “The Cult: The Kangaroo Court, it was my experience again, when they tried to DF me, and but with a horrifying end. Check it out. This is all from a book I wrote, Heaven by Attrition. It’s all about my personal experience and afterward trying to heal-We are on six screens every other Sat at 9pm. This Sat. at 9pm. All u have to do is call 1-712-432-8710; Pin #9925. *1 to mute or *1 to talk or ask questions.


    3. Hi it seems like we have very similar situations and upbringing. Been DF for a year and half . It can really take a toll on your mental health, still trying to figure things out

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Melissa, you really are not alone. Especially since it hasn’t been that long ago. I would see my friends everywhere I went and I know if I turned around, their faces would have been smug, while their head was held high. Remember you are free and it’s only going to get easier! I know, I went to at least 5 congregations and had hundreds of friends so I had to leave PA in order to get some peace. But don’t despair, there are many ways you can heal. First, trust in God, because none of this is His fault. So continue to talk to Him. The JW’s ruined my family and I became one when I was 22 yrs old and left when I was 36. All I figured out at the time I walked away was that imaging I was Jehovah. How would I like my name dragged through the mud? There are a lot of things you can think about now that you are FREE! We will be talking about that on the radio show I am on this Sat. the 17th. You can just listen in, it starts at 9pm and what you do is dial 1-712-432-8710, then put in 9925#. You are automatically muted, however, if you want to ask questions or just tell your story, hit *1 to do that and to be muted again is hit *1. It starts at 9pm ET and lasts 3 hrs. Get back to me, bec I want to hear what you meant by “similar situations”. Thanx, Deb


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