My experience

Running into Brick Walls


When you run into a brick wall, it hurts, doesn’t it? Well, I’d like to tell you a true story from my first book that happened in 2008. It was an “aha” moment and even my unbelieving husband, Tony knew it was a “God thing.”  The book is called “Wake up and Smell Your Business Burning.” 


Chapter 3; Part I: “What makes you so stupid?”, as my Father-in-law used to say.

“I found myself working as a controller for Mr.E. in 2008. I had been there three years .  My job entailed running the entire company, payroll, sales support and HR. Nice, huh? Well, it did not start out that way. I worked myself into that position.  Stupid me!  The point is everything went across my desk.  In the three years I worked there we accumulated 3 million dollars.  All it took was my system of an “organized mess.” He would let people go, and give their responsibilities to me. Then I, in turn, would hire an assistant, and eventually he would find a way to get rid of them

.Mr. E. was a congenial man, among all of his bad habits. He was lazy.  Nevertheless, here we were right smack in the middle of a housing crunch and a down stock market. We catered to builders of new homes.  We sold and  installed the carpet, cabinets, tile, with an array of displays in our luxurious showroom.

 Fortunately there was money in the bank, three million, unfortunately the owner found a way to exhaust the funds, and when I found out, off I went leaving them in their own folly.  You see, I was the last to know. It was “hush, hush,” and the sales people were making money so they were all for it not caring what the consequences would be. So, it took some time for me to catch wind of it.

He did it behind my back, how shrewd was that? At least that is what he thought, so the invoices starting marching across my desk.  One by one for this same job.  Upscale everything; cabinets, carpet, tile, installation all under a four-thousand square foot house!  He depleted the cash flow before I had a chance to stop him.

 Mr.E. had already had the house built and the goodies were being installed as we spoke. And we spoke! I went down to his office and confronted him and he quietly closed the door and told me that he had a great deal from one of the builders that was going out of business and could not afford to pay us, so he took it out in trade.  Now it was up to us to furnish the monstrosity. I asked him not too quietly if he was mad! He offered me a raise, and I replied,” with what?!” I was livid. He had more than spent all of the money I had saved up for him to get through the credit crunch. We obviously were directly linked to the fall of the housing market! What was he thinking? He wasn’t, so I packed up all of my things and left him. I was outta there! ” 

In that period of time, Obama extended the unemployment and extended and extended it, so I really didn’t have to run around and look for a job. However, I sent out my resume’s.  I went on interviews and “did my thing.”though,”my thing.”, wasn’t working for the first time in my life.  Never, I mean never had I  any problems procuring work.

I was mystified.  Tony and I were fighting because he didn’t believe me. he thought I was “goofing off.” Consequently, I challenged him to ask his customers if they needed any kind of management or bookkeeping help. It just so happened that one of his customers was looking for an experienced bookkeeper, yeah! No yeah, because they shortly found someone who was bi-lingual, so I wasn’t in the running for anything at that place.

 Then I received a phone call from an office supply store looking for a manager. I was more than qualified. I owned a bookkeeping store for three years up north. They asked me for an interview and then told me I had the job. When suddenly I did not hear from him ever again.

I asked God why?? I was running into brick walls wherever I went. We were baffled, then it was time for my yearly physical and guess what? I had osteo & rheumatoid arthritis!  Well that was a shock, but the benefit, (if you want to call it that), was Social Security Disability. Subsequently, I ended up with a lawyer I already knew from a friend and we started the process of obtaining the Disability.

There was a catch, though, they wanted 15 years back of work experience by way of  W-2’S! With my working under payroll, I needed to locate maybe 3 one year then 1 for 6 years, oh what a mess. How was I going to come up with 15 years worth of W-2’s ? Tony and I moved every six years and had four houses at one time, so I didn’t know if it would be with my files in the attic. I was always pretty “anal” about everything, in spite of this.

For example, as soon as Tony would put a dish down I would sweep it up and in the dishwasher it went! Boy he would get angry, because I did that with everything, except the remote, of course. Up into the attic we went and he handed me every box that had files in it, and don’t you know there was one for my W-2’s!  Praise God! I had all fifteen years. I was not denied and started getting my check in a few months. We both agreed it was a “God thing.”

What I want you to understand is that is how I first started seeing God at work in my life. We didn’t starve during that 4 year period, God made provisions in different ways for us to get by. However, it was the Holy Spirit putting up the brick walls and slamming the doors, because if I had been working at the time I was told I had arthritis, I would have been denied.

The one thing I would like to say is, ” do not do anything agaainst your own conscience, because that is a sin.”

Again I do not believe in coincidence! I was going to write a book on all the times God either saved me or someone else, and menial things too. Always pray when you lose something, because the Lord will make it plain as day to you.  I try to follow the Holy Spirit and try to comprehend what God is trying to tell me and directing me to do. I always pray for Jesus to reveal himself in the scriptures and every time a write a blog I learn so much, that the jig saw puzzle gets smaller and smaller, but I am getting the big picture!

I started writing my book when I went on the website and saw what my old “friends” were up to. Boy did I get a shock! Nevertheless it intrigued me, because the mainQ & A’s were so ridiculous.

Two main questions that they asked themselves:

Note: Since I cannot locate that part on their site anymore, I am going by memory, MY memory, Lol!

Who is Jesus?


1. He was God’s Son as it says in John 3:16.

2. He was the Messiah foretold in the “O.T. ” 

 If my memory serves me correctly, it was only a little bit of information because what they don’t tell you until they can trust you is that they believe that Jesus is Michael the Arc-Angel! So, I thought, this is not accurate.

Then when I got to the question, are we a cult?

1. No, they said there is no one giving out poison like the Jim Jones incident.

2. They did not meet on mountain tops or in the wilderness.

I couldn’t stand it, I had to correct this! In fact, I kept a journal and right before I became a Christian, I wrote for some reason, “Heaven by Attrition.” I think the reason that it came to mind was that I was watching the Daytona 500, you know, making another left turn. I thought at the time, “what a neat name for a book, too bad I am not a Christian.” Little did I know. When I was writing, in truth, I did not have a clue as to go about it. Remember, I was a Controller my whole life. Put that in your pipe and don’t smoke it!  

Therefore, I sat in front of the laptop and waited, and before long, with all of my material; my King James Versions, all of them were always out opened up on the floor along with my dictionary and my journal, I would get the information like a flood, I was tickled pink, the Holy Spirit and I were writing a book together.  It got bizarre. I would hear a hymn in the middle of the night, and it sounded like me singing it, which would startle me and in the den I went, The Holy Spirit  would bring back to memory the information that got away.

So, with the Holy Spirit’s help, I wrote an incredible book. Not to my glory, but to God’s. However, I could not have accomplished it myself. It is only part me, the sarcastic personality, but it was mostly Him. Actually as I said before He would give me an abundance of so much scripture and information, it would take seven hours until I was finished for the day.  


This is the identical event with my blogs.  I have no idea what I am going to do next, but I learned the hard way to listen and most of all pay attention to the Holy Spirit. He is really present and He is very powerful.  I went to write a blog about angels last year, and I had “writer’s block.”  I could not get around it. I was again, running into brick walls.  Therefore, I got the message and put it aside, and it was easy flowing approximately two weeks ago. It is all in God’s plan. Praying is the key, but as I am writing these articles, it is always so.

It took time for me to consider how to back off and let God do the work.  It is his plan, after all, and there is nothing I or anyone can do to change it. Now think about that for a moment…..Why try? You would just end up where He wanted you to be, just like Jonah. Do not only do it for God’s glory, but let Him take those burdens you carry off your shoulders.  What a deal!  

It’s not only my writing the Holy Spirit helps me with. When God lays something on your heart thru Him, it is your heart, soul, and mind that receive it.  It is one thought that hits you all at once, and your whole body gets the THE  of the comfort and knows it.  The Holy Spirit, doesn’t say, “Uh, Debbie, don’t do that.”

You just know not to do that. Sometimes, (most of the time) I cry when I actually feel his presence. It is joy unspeakable. So cry for joy, go with it. He is your joy maker, and I can honestly say, if you don’t have that joy, and I dealt with it for four years, you are doing something to get in the way of God’s plan for you. I was so worried about the What if’s that it spoiled anything I might feel and don’t forget you usually feel sorry for yourself, big time! Let me tell you, there is always, always, someone worse off than you.

So if the joy is lacking, pray for it and God will show you how to attain it. Do not waste your life being miserable. I write from my heart because it is pure experience. However, now I think you will understand. When I was hitting brick walls when I was searching for a job, I was angry at God. When the message came through it was be patient. Sure, me patient! But I held on and prayed and it got easier to wait. But it does say in the Bible to “wait on the Lord.”


When I was home, hitting those brick walls, I had no money and started selling our gold. It is very lonely when you are angry at God and have no place to go and no one to talk to, and you do not feel like talking anyway. This is “Spiritual Depression.”

It can start out as a morality matter.  In other words, you do something against your conscience, you either ignore it or pray for forgiveness and direction. When you disregard it, you move a little farther away from God.  This is because you are guilty of sin and you know it. So it is natural for you not to approach the mercy-seat too often.  That opens the door for Satan to slip in and put a tiny thought in your head, maybe unbelief, then you may pray once in a while and with the guilt comes fear and lack of joy.

 And it goes on, I think at this point, you have severe depression and all you want to do is cry. The feeling of not knowing what to do come upon you and you feel trapped. I wished for death, no lie!  However, I do not remember the exact wording but a friend of mine said, You are putting another thorn in Jesus’ crown and not letting God do what he wants because you are in the way.”‘ Later, when I was alone, it hit me like a bolt of lightning! Making Jesus’ suffer again? Maybe I was in God’s way. I cried to the Lord for what must have been hours, and asked for forgiveness.

In my case, I snapped right back and went back to church and got involved in a ministry. Oh, that was the beginning of my joy. I know I have written this before, but repetition works.  When you go against your own standards and principles, you make the Holy Spirit inside you becomes despondent. He has feelings and emotions too.

When you can finally feel the comfort of the Holy Spirit, you begin again to communicate with the Most High. What a privilege, God inside you. Treat Him well.


“Charles Spurgeon is one of my favorite preachers and I use his devotional and the Holy Spirit always gives me a different perspective every time it comes around. On March 6th Morning he wrote:

“Regeneration, (rebirth) is a subject which lies at the very basis of salvation, and we should make a special effort to determine whether or not we really are “born again,” for there are many who fancy they are, who are not. Be assured that the name of a Christian is not the nature of a Christian; and that being born in a Christian land and being recognized as and professing the Christian religion is of no use whatever, unless there is something more added to it-the being “born again.” is a manner so mysterious, that human words cannot describe it.

“The wind blows where ever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So, it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

“Nevertheless, it is a change which is known and felt; known by works of holiness and felt by a gracious experience. This great work is supernatural. It is not an operation which one performs for oneself; a new principle is infused, which works in the heart, renews the soul, and affects the entire person.  

It is not a change of my name, but a renewal of my nature, so that I am not the person I used to be, but a new person in Christ Jesus…if then, you have been ‘born again’ your acknowledgement will be, O Lord Jesus, the everlasting Father, you are my spiritual Parent; unless Your Spirit had breathed into me the breath of a new, holy , and spiritual life, I had been to this day dead in transgressions and sins.’ My heavenly life is wholly derived from You, to You I described it. My life is now hidden with Christ in God.’ It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.’ May the Lord enable us to be well assured on this vital point, for to be unregenerate is to be unsaved, unpardoned, without God and without hope.”

“Taken from March 6 “Morning”. Copyright©1995 Hendrickson Publishers Marketing LLC

Do you feel the Holy Spirit? Pray, pray, pray and he will come to you.




















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